It’s not you; it’s me. I am aware this is cliched, but it is the truth in this case. You are not an evil entity. While you are a nutritional wasteland, you are not evil in moderation. I still plan to welcome you into my home to celebrate my son’s birthdays and other such occasions.

Again, it’s not you; it’s me. Something in me doesn’t react well to you & I realize this. You are fantastic during the too-brief time I get to enjoy you. Ecstatic & wonderful. But too often, before I even finish swallowing the last bite, I just want more! Then, I still want more and more and more. That is where the evil comes into play… it is in large quantities that you become evil.

And I won’t waste time elaborating on why large quantities of you are bad. That doesn’t bear repeating.

When I get ensnared by your addictive properties, I feel terrible; both physically & emotionally. The feeling of being hooked is dreadful. For one thing, it’s just simply embarrassing! It also has a negative effect on my self-esteem (really, I can’t “just say no” & only eat a moderate amount?! What is wrong with me?) I don’t have some of the negative effects some experience such as stomach pains, yeast infections, skin problems, & blood sugar crashes causing a rapid decline in both energy & mood. However, I feel bloated, fat, and, well, gross. Feeling fat & gross makes me feel ugly. It’s just bad; just all around bad.

So there you sit in the conference room. I’m sure others will enjoy you, don’t fret. Cake rarely goes uneaten in any office. But for now, I’m 10 days sweets-free & intend to go another 11 days for a round 3 weeks. At that point, I’m thinking I’ll stick to a serving of dessert or sweets once every 3 weeks.